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To every thing there is a season,
and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up

(Ecclesiastes 3:1-3)

Four of the boys at training tonight are preparing themselves for
their first fight at our forthcoming Christians vs. Lions
promotion, scheduled for only three weeks hence. All of these
lads are boxers.

Three of those four - Joel, Daniel and young Dave - are friends,
finishing their last year of school together. They are a great
example of how guys from different ethnic backgrounds
(Australian, Latin American, and Lebanese respectively) can still
be the best of mates. The fourth guy, Louis, is an enormous
Islander man. I m not sure whether he s Tongan or from the Cook
Islands, but he s a gentle giant really. He reminds me of
Mahendar - a regular here at the Youth Centre. They re both big,
black and burly, but with gentle hearts. Louis has a few years on
the other boys who were there tonight. He s a natural in the
ring, and plays the role of the older brother very well indeed.

These four boys are the cream of our crop in the fight club at
the moment. They are all capable pugilists, but more than that,
they are each a good embodiment of what our club is on about -
courage, integrity, self-discipline and teamwork. This isn t to
say that none of them have ever been troublemakers. Indeed, I ve
got a court appearance coming up with one of the boys, scheduled
for shortly after his fight, and he s on quite serious charges.
Even so, I ve seen nothing but positive growth since he joined
the club, and I m hoping for positive results both in his fight
and in his court case.

What is it that makes fight training such a powerful tool in the
molding of young lives? There was a time when I thought of
fighting as just another form of sport. I have come to believe
though that fight training taps into something deep in the male
psyche, in a way that no other sport does.

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When I used to talk to my old girls in the church about the
problems we had with our young people, they often used to say
what we need is another war . I always thought that that was a
terrible thing to say - that a war was the last thing that
anybody wanted. And of course the girls didn t really want a war.
They had just experienced the benefit of being part of a
community that had learnt to pull together through difficult
times. And they had seen the positive effect that soldiering
could have on the lives of young men.

I believe that men were made to fight. It s part of our genetic
makeup. We may have managed to emerge from the jungle, but
there s still a bit of the jungle in each of us, and pugilistic
activity keys right in to those ancient impulses - releasing the
wild man within.

This theory isn t original to me of course. It s part of the
fabric of the Bible - there behind every great warrior-king who
showed himself to be a mighty man of God in battle, and behind
Jacob, who went toe to toe with God Himself and yet lived to talk
about it (Genesis 32)! These were men who knew how to fight and
pray and bleed and serve.

For a more philosophical exposition on the significance of
fighting, we need look no further than Plato s Republic.

For those who haven t read it, in the Republic Socrates explores
the concept of justice through examining both the just society
and the just individual, and then he goes on to delineate their
common elements. On the societal level he notes that a just
community is made up of a number of vital components parts:
rulers who govern, workers who labour, and an army that functions
to protect them both. In the individual he finds a similar
configuration - the mind that governs the body, the limbs that do
the work, and the themos (which is often translated as temper
or aggression ) that plays a parallel role in protecting the
individual. Justice in the Republic consists in having all of the
component parts (in either individual or society) being present
and working together properly.

In the wisdom of the ancient Greeks then, the themos is the
vital third component in the human constitution, along with the
mind and the body. Without the themos , no individual is
complete, and at a social level, no society will ever achieve a
true state of justice.

It is my opinion that one of the negative legacies of feminism in
Western culture has been an attempt to deny the themos , which
seems to be more strongly present in men than in women. This has
been for the most understandable of reasons - because of the
excesses of male violence. But perhaps it s time that we realised
that trying to eliminate themos from society altogether is like
trying to eliminate spiders and snakes because we find them
distasteful. We soon discover that the created order needs all of
its creatures - even those that some of us find ugly - if it is
to function properly.

My experience with a vast number of men is that they tend to be
either functioning as doormats to their wives and girlfriends, or
they re beating up on them. This is a reflection of the same
crisis in dealing with the themos . When we attempt to repress
the themos , it often spurts out in the most horrible and
destructive of forms. When we successfully repress it, we
emasculate our men, so that they re no longer able to stand up
for anything. Ironically, of course, such modern day men are not
only unable to offer any strength to society. They re no longer
even attractive to the women they sought to please.

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The only constructive alternative is for us to reharness the
themos and channel it creatively. We need to get in touch with
that distinctive male energy - recognise it, affirm it, and then
learn to bring it under control so that it can be put to good
use. Perhaps when we are able to do this, then we will see this
country produce leaders of the calibre of Martin Luther King Jr.,
Mother Theresa, or Mahatma Ghandi - strong people of principle
who stand up powerfully for what they believe in. As it is, our
leaders always seem to come across as being either wooses or
criminals or both. God knows we need some real men in this
country who know what it means to love their women, to be fathers
to their children, and to serve God and their community with
their strength!

Fight training, I do believe, is a means to getting at that
themos and learning to bring it under control. When done in the
right way, fight training can help a young person to discover who
they are and can help them to bring their futures into focus.
They can then come to see their role as warriors in this society
who will stand up and use their energy to build a better
community and to fight for things worth fighting for.

What about these boys who I watched training with me tonight?
Will they go on to become mighty men of God’? I don t know. But
they re on the right track, and they re further ahead now than
when they first started their training..

About the Author

‘Fighting’ Father Dave Smith - Parish Priest, community worker,
professional fighter, father of three.

Dave is the only Australian in Holy Orders to turn pro boxer to
help fund his work. He is Parish Priest in Dulwich Hill, Sydney,
and has received numerous awards for his work with young people

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Get a free preview of his book, ‘Sex, the Ring & the Eucharist’
when you sign up for Dave’s newsletter at www.fatherdave.org

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I was standing in line in the drugstore this evening and up walked a father with his 10 year old son. And what did the 10 year old boy have on? A t-shirt that said I wish my babysitter were a HOOTER girl. I was quietly appalled.

I hear the most amazing stories, as an EQ coach (and see and hear things when I m out and about) that corroborate the latest surveys showing that the majority of US citizens are concerned about the growing rudeness in America.

One woman s boss considers it appropriate to strip down to his boxer shorts once the business day has begun.

In another office, the senior partner has a brain tumor, and is incontinent, and doesn t care. For what I pay them, he snarls, they can watch me pee my pants.

I dine in a booth at a restaurant and am assaulted by the kindergartner in the booth behind me, who screams, throws food, and keeps trying to leg his way over to my side.

My friend Anita has started a new job. The woman in the cubby next to her burns scented candles and plays loud music on her radio. When asked to cease and desist, she claims seniority.

I receive a receipt from a fast food restaurant, and for some odd reason actually read it. There it is: F*** you for eating at XXX it says across the top, a manager s nightmare. I am not making that up!

I move into the audience at a cruise presentation I m giving, and sit down to work with a gentleman. He tells me he s too sexually turned on (by moi?) to concentrate.

And then there s the cell phone abuse, and retail clerk attitude.

WHAT IS RUDENESS?

Rudeness is something upsetting. It s something that assaults our space. We can t escape from the sight of other people, nor their odors, their noises, nor, should it come to that, their bodies or parts thereof. As they say in the Supreme Court, your right to swing your arm ends at the end of my nose.

But there are other things more frequent and more invasive than fisticuffs, and our personal space extends beyond our noses, inches to yards depending upon your culture.

IT IS BRAIN SCIENCE

Now, since I m an EQ coach, let s do a little brain science here. We are our emotions, which come from our brains. We like to feel good, and we hate to feel bad. We don t like to get angry; we like to be soothed. We hate insults; we adore compliments. We like to be able to concentrate and think. We don t like to be disturbed and interrupted. A single noise at too high a decibel level can render us immediately deaf, but too much time in a sensory deprivation chamber drives us nuts. Like Goldilocks, we don t want too cold or too hot; we like it to be just right.

We like our brain waves around beta and alpha. Beta is the normal waking consciousness, associated with concentration, arousal, alertness and cognition. However, at the higher levels, it s associated with anxiety. Too much arousal is not a good thing.

When we can relax into the alpha range, we feel really good. This is the twilight state between sleeping and waking. It s relaxed focus at its higher levels, and causes increase in serotonin production the feel good chemical. This is when you stare at a sunset, play with the baby, listen to beautiful music, or get a massage. (The other two are theta (dreaming sleep) and delta (dreamless sleep).

Our optimal state is just going about our business, in pleasant surroundings. Rudeness is anything that jars us; anything that puts us into too high a state of arousal. It is IDEAL that we could stay in equilibrium. It is RUDENESS to be thrust out of it.

Being RUDE isn t just saying certain words, it s failing on any number of levels to RESPECT the other person their thoughts, feelings, body, and soul.

What assaults us most are things that go directly to the reptilian brain things that trigger sex or aggression. There you are quietly enjoying your bagel and coffee and someone shoves past you, saying Move it ass**** and you start churning stomach acid, yes?

Rudeness is a violation of the other person s sensibilities, but the line is blurred and varies. It s like your mom told you about sex it s not that you can t do it, it s when, where, how, and with whom.

LEARN HOW TO BEHAVE IN PUBLIC

Studying Emotional Intelligence with an EQ coach can help you determine what s appropriate and what isn t. There are things appropriate to intimate relationships that don t work in the work place, and things that are appropriate in private, that are not appropriate in public. As the saying goes, We never grow up, we just learn how to behave in public.

It s okay to scratch where it itches when you re home alone. When you do it in front of me, in a store, it s rude. The same act, too, may be OK in another culture or country. Pay attention!

Be particularly respectful of the things we can t defend ourselves against. Your WORDS, we can defend against tell you to stop, counter, plug our ears, or leave. Your body odor, in an elevator? There isn t much we can do, and it s offensive.

Be particularly mindful in forced situations (if you share an office for instance) and of those who are helpless (is it just rude to smoke in the car with a toddler?) and of those you can assault the most because you live with them (like your marital partner).

Here are the areas to watch out for, and examples of rudeness:

NOISE

1.Uncurbed cell phone use
2.Strident and harsh tones of voice
3.Talking too much or too loudly
4.Nervous habits scraping nails on a blackboard, tongue-clicking, finger tapping, throat clearing, humming, talking to yourself out loud
5.Playing music inappropriately
6.Misbehaving pets and children a dog that barks all night; children out of control in a restaurant
7.Unpleasant voice cackling laugh, nasal twang
8.Wheezing, coughing, gagging, snoring, snorting, burping, farting, hawking phlegm
9.Inappropriate crying or laughing
10.Disturbing someone s sleep
11.Loud noises honking horn, banging desk or cabinet, scraping chair, slamming books, fist or door
12.Drunk and disorderly conduct

MOVEMENT

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1.Fidgeting, banging, bouncing, swaying in conversation
2.Moving too fast (don t startle people) or too slow ( Sunday drivers )
3.Any unwanted body contact hugging, hitting, touching
4.Physical harm to another
5.Standing too close

ODORS

1.Body odor
2.Bad breath
3.Cheap dry-cleaned clothes, moth balls on the sweater
4.Too strong cologne in closed quarters
5.Burning incense, scented candles, cigarette or cigar smoke
6.Food bringing sauerkraut into the break room, or sardines

VISUAL

1.Exposing body parts inappropriately cleavage, butt cracks
2.Unclean or unkempt
3.Inappropriate apparel
4.Inappropriate self-grooming in public cleaning your ears, scratching your genitals, picking your nose
5.Gestures and expressions rolling eyes, sneering, giving the finger, glowering
6.Nervous tics and mannerisms biting your lip, playing with your hair
7.PDA public displays of affection

WORDS

1.Profanity
2.Inappropriate sexual references
3.References to body processes and elimination
4.Provocation saying things designed to arouse (controversial issues such as race, religion, politics and sex)
5.Gossip, slander and libel
6.Complaining, whining, catastrophizing
7.Inappropriate self-disclosure (traumas, addictions, your sex life)
8.Badgering, belaboring, pontificating, or boring others. Know when is enough.
9.Put downs, degrading, insulting, bullying
10.Offering unsolicited advice
11.Monopolizing air time
12.Ignoring someone
13.Shaming and blaming
14.Attacking, sarcasm

EMOTIONS

1.Negativity
2.Hostility
3.Self-pity, victimization
4.Pessimism
5.Copping an attitude
6.Spreading doom and gloom
7.Anxiety without boundaries

BODY FLUIDS

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1.Spitting, slobbering
2.Coughing
3.Sneezing
4.Touching someone else s food or drinking from their cup
5.Unwanted kissing
6.Not flushing the toilet
7.Blowing your nose at the table

In essence, picture a space around yourself and around the other, including space that s shared (public restroom, airport waiting room). Be good to that space. Treat it with respect.

THE GOLDEN RULE

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How do you know what s respectful? Empathy. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

LET IT ALL HANG IN.

Somewhere along the way, let it all hang out got out of control. We now need to protect ourselves from one another. Your emotional state, for instance, needn t be commented upon continually. Nor do we need to know intimate details about your sex life. War stories afflict the hearer as much as the original recipient. Advice and opinions are best received when invited. Depression is depressing.

It isn t all about you. It s about you and the others in your environment. Don t Jaba the Hut others. Stay in your space.

Space violations engender negative emotions. Emotional management is Emotional Intelligence.

CORRELLARY: When you develop your own Emotional Intelligence, your world will become less rude. Rudeness is a closed feedback loop. People become rude because they ve been treated badly, and then they turn around and do the same thing. When you ve been assaulted with too much rudeness too long, you become hostile. You quit caring about the other.

CHANGE YOURSELF. CHANGE YOUR WORLD.

Clients often tell me after EQ work with me, how much nicer people are. There are some people who are inveterately rude, it s true, but there are other people who are reacting to what s coming at them. When you ve learned to manage yourself, and those around you, you naturally elicit respect.

STOP THE MADNESS

So how do we stop this epidemic of rudeness? Start with yourself. Take a look at the list and see how you re doing.

Then start being POLITE. It s from the Latin polished smooth, round, with no rough edges.

According to m-w, it means showing or characterized by correct social usage; marked by an appearance of consideration, tact, deference or courtesy; marked by a lack of roughness or crudities.

Practically speaking?

Hold the door open for someone.
Say please, thank you, excuse me, and may I?
Turn off the cell phone.
Modulate your voice.
Don t force your opinions on others.
Smell good.
Talk nice.
Be considerate.
And work with an EQ coach!

P.S. Might makes right only in the barnyard. If you re abusing others with rudeness because you re the boss, the father, the owner, the richest, or the biggest, shame on you!

About the Author

Susan Dunn, MA, Emotional Intelligence Coach and Consultant, http://www.susandunn.cc . Coaching, business programs, internet courses, teleclasses and ebooks around emotional intelligence. Mailto:sdunn@susandunn.cc for FREE ezine. I train and certify EQ coaches. Email me for information on this fast, affordable program with no residency requirement.

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One of the most pleasant parties to plan has to be the baby
shower. The mom-to-be gets so much attention and she can
just sit back and enjoy all of the fuss. The key to creating
this wonderful event is organization. Here’s everything you
need to make your upcoming baby shower as festive and
memorable as possible!

Consult, Consult, Consult!

Because the parents-to-be may have more than one shower,
it’s a good idea to consult with the mommy-to-be. Before you
send out invitations, sit down with the mom-to-be and ask
her what she would like from this event. What is her idea of
a fun shower and who she would like to attend? Most people
shouldn’t be expected to attend several showers for the same
parents, so find out what else is being planned. Let her
know that you want her to feel comfortable and most of all,
to have fun.

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What if you are having a surprise shower? Don t let that
stop you from consulting! Talk to the dad-to-be to get ideas
of a guest list and an appropriate time. You might even want
to consult with other friends to be sure that everything
works out smoothly. Again, consider the mom-to-be when
having a shower. You want her to feel special, have fun, and
be comfortable.

After consulting with the mom-to-be, or others, it is time
to plan!

The Theme of the Day

This is the fun part deciding what you are going to do and
how you are going to do it! This can also be the
overwhelming part if you have never planned a baby shower
before or if you don t feel that you are the creative type.
Luckily, you don t have to have experience or creativity to
throw a great baby shower.

Some showers are simply a gathering of family and friends
chatting, mom-to-be opening her gifts, and eating yummy
food. Other showers are more elaborate with special games.
If you are thinking of being more elaborate and having a
theme, here are some great ideas to get you started:

Consider inviting couples instead of just the ladies. You
can play fun games like who can diaper the baby doll the
fastest and make it the men against the women. This shower
is great for first-time-dads and helps them feel a part of
things as the big day nears.

Does mom-to-be already have everything she needs for baby,
but you still want to celebrate this special occasion? Why
not throw a Mommy Shower? Instruct guests to bring gifts for
mom herself (bath and beauty products, gift certificates,
etc). You might also consider a consumable shower and have
guests bring diapers, wipes, shampoo, and other items that
run out!

A recipe shower is a great idea. Instead of a card, ask
guests to bring their favorite easy-to-make recipes for
mom-to-be to use after the little one arrives. Or go one
better and have the guests bring a dish ready to be frozen
for the mom-to-be for those days when she is just too worn
out to cook!

Here s a fun shower that will help the guests determine what
to bring as a gift. In the invitations, assign each guest a
random time of day and have them bring an appropriate gift.
For example, blankets for naptime. Or assign each guest a
different room of the house, like the bathroom, and have
them bring an appropriate gift.

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Have guests bring something that was a favorite of theirs
from their childhood for the new baby. Books, movies,
security blanket and etc make great gifts with added special
meaning.

Have a birthday party! Get a birthday cake, streamers, party
hats, and party games! Can you think of a better way to
celebrate a birth?

Once you set a date and make a guest list, and pick your
theme, you will need to choose a location. It is perfectly
fine to have the shower in your own home, but it can be
anywhere with enough space. Depending upon your theme, you
may even choose a restaurant or an out of the way tearoom!

As the Date Nears

Now that the big decisions are over, you can take a deep
breath. You are almost there! As the shower date approaches,
however, you may again feel a bit of stress. Do you have
everything? Have all the details been taken care of? Here is
a great list to help you know the answers to those
questions.

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Two To Three Weeks Before The Event

Prepare and mail invitations with directions to event. Be
sure to keep one for the baby book!
Place order for the cake if ordering from a bakery.
Choose and purchase decorations and party favors.
Purchase prizes for games.

One Week Before The Event:

Determine an accurate guest count.
Make follow-up calls, if necessary.

One Day Before The Event:

Purchase food and prepare platters and/or pick up any
special food platters ordered.
Purchase beverages.
Make sure camera has film and/or video camera is loaded
and has batteries, etc.
Wrap gifts for game winners and review instructions for
games.
Clean house and party area.

Day Of The Event:

Decorate
Buy any last minute items
Prepare area for gifts
Prepare table for the food
And most importantly HAVE FUN!

That s all there is to it! You are now ready to throw a
memory-filled baby shower for a special mom-to-be.

Copyright. All rights reserved.

About the Author

About the Author:
Claire Bowes is a successful freelance writer and owner of Baby Gifts Unique where you will find further tips on baby showers and baby shower games

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We wouldn t be able to do any of the stuff we do with kids if it
wasn t for the support we get from local business people in our
community. This is not a shameless plug for our sponsors, just
recognition of the fact that whatever we ve been able to achieve
in Dulwich Hill has been a team effort between church and
community.

People often ask me, “I suppose the church pays for all this, do
they”. I tell them straight, that our little church in Dulwich
Hill has never been able to properly afford even the minimum wage
for their priest, and that the Church with a capital C (ie. the
Anglican Diocese of Sydney) has contributed next to nothing. No.
Almost all our support comes from the three local pubs - the
Gladstone, the Royal Exchange, and the Henson Park Hotel - and
from the local RSL club (Petersham). The rest of it we pick up
through the Christians vs. Lions fight nights we put on, and
through other community events (eg. the Mayor s golf day, the
annual community Street Fair, etc.).

It wasn t always this easy. In the early years we really
struggled to keep the Youth Centre open. Then we caught the
attention of one corporate benefactor, who was able to keep us
going long enough for us to put the other support in place. That
benefactor was Ray Williams, former chief executive of HIH
insurance - one of the most gentle, caring, and humble men I have
ever met, and currently one of the least popular men in the
country.

It amazes me when I think about it. Some of the best people I
have ever met are people with terrible reputations. In each case
of course their reputations have been largely media-generated.

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When my mate Jim got shot, one of the major Sydney newspapers ran
story entitled “Evil Villain Gunned Down”. It featured a picture
of Jim carrying an automatic weapon. The picture had been taken
many years earlier during Jim s time with the Australian Army. I
thought You bastards! That s not the man I know.

When Morde was on trail in Israel I read a variety of articles
that spoke about him as being a sophisticated spy - working for
the Arabs and out to destroy his country. I thought You
bastards! You have no idea who you are talking about.

Now I read stories about Ray - about how he manipulated the
market to line his own pockets and how he deliberately defrauded
millions of people, and I think again You bastards .

Ray was sent by God to help us. I have no doubt about that. I
first met him through a fight I took, though Ray himself was no
fan of boxing.

The story of that fight was in itself quite bizarre.

I had been sitting with the Archdeacon in my office one
afternoon. He was wagging his finger at me and telling me that
I d have to close down the Youth Centre. “You just don t have
enough money to keep it going” he said. And he was right. We were
exactly $1000 short of being able to pay our youth worker s wage
for the next month. I was feeling rather nonchalant about it all
and was telling him to have more faith. At exactly that moment
Kon, my trainer, came to the door.

“Dave, do you want to take a pro fight?” he asked. “No” was my
knee-jerk reaction. I d just completed my fight career (I d
thought) with a shot at the NSW super-welterweight title in
kickboxing. The law in this state at the time was that you had to
hang up your gloves when you turned 35. I was 34 and nine months
at that stage. “How much are they offering?” I asked Kon. “$1000″
he said. I told him I d take it. We raised close to $50,000 for
the Youth Centre through that fight. More than half of that money
came through Ray.

A guy by the name of Jeff Wells wrote an article about my fight
that was published in the Sydney Morning Herald one Saturday.
After that, cheques for as much as $1000 started arriving in the
mail! Then one morning a courier turned up with two cheques - one
for $10,000 in the name of HIH insurance, and another for $15,000
in the name of a Mr R. Williams. I remember trembling when I
received these cheques. I d never seen that much money before in
my life.

I had never heard of Ray Williams, but his business card was
attached, so I rang the number and got one of those classic
receptionist voices, saying “Mr Williams is busy at the moment.
Can I take a message?” Then I mentioned my name and all of a
sudden I was speaking to Ray.

“Ah … hi … do I know you?” I started. “No. I don t think so,”
he said. “You ve just sent me cheques for $25,000″ I said. “Yes”
he said. “Um … are you a local from around here? Have you been
watching our work?” I asked. “No” he said. “Well … are you
connected with the church or with youth work around here?” “No”
he said. “Well … are you a fight fan?” I asked, scratching for
some point of connection. “Not at all” he said. “I read an
article about you in the Herald and it looked like you needed
some help.” “Yeah, I do” I said. “Well, will that help?” he
asked. “Oh yeah” I said, “that ll help.”

That s how our relationship began. Over the years that followed
Ray took a keen interest in our work. As things at HIH became
tighter, we didn t receive any further support from the company,
but Ray himself would generally turn up to our fundraiser fight
nights, and he wouldn t leave before slipping us a cheque from
out of his own funds. It s what kept us going while we searched
for more stable sponsorship from the local community. We owe a
lot to Ray.

And it wasn t just the money. It was the man too. He was
inspiring in his humility.

At the time of the first donation we had a guy in our church who
worked as one of the chief accountants in the public hospital
system. “Oh yeah” he said to me one Sunday. “If it wasn t for Ray
Williams, half the hospitals in Sydney might be closed.” And then
he added “but he never likes to have his name mentioned. He hates
the limelight”

We found this to be entirely true. We managed to get him on stage
once to present a trophy to one of our fighters, but it was a
tough job. He really hated being at the centre of attention. It s
one of the things that makes this Royal Commission so odious to
him.

I still can t believe the way the media have gone after him -
vigorously attacking him for his generosity to hospitals and
charities. It s not as if he was giving away money that should
have gone to insurance claimants. If he hadn t given it away, I
guess it would have slightly increased the dividend paid to the
shareholders, and he himself must have been one of the largest
shareholders. I still find it preposterous to think that the
media should have acted so self-righteously indignant about the
fact that the poor shareholders were losing potential income
because it had gone to the children s hospital. It s just
ridiculous.

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But it wasn t only the media that crucified Ray. Once the news
about HIH s collapse became public knowledge, former colleagues
deserted him, old friends and associates turned their backs on
him, and charities that he d been supporting for years all of a
sudden didn t want to know him. Ray had been on the board of the
Children s Hospital for as long as anybody could remember. They
sent him a letter saying thank you but your services are no
longer required . Nobody waited for the results of the Royal
Commission. Nobody waited to see if perhaps he wasn t the real
villain in the piece. Everyone distanced themselves, not wanting
their own reputations to be tarnished.

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I seriously can t understand that attitude. I know I m capable of
doing some stupid and selfish things, but deserting a mate in his
time of need is not one of them. When I think about all the
people that Ray must have helped over the years, I just can t
believe that none of them thought to ring him up and say How are
you going, Ray. Perhaps it s my turn to give you some support?

Anyway, my point here is not to spit my dummy. And I ll be the
first to admit that I don t have a clue about big business,
insurance laws, or anything of the sort. But I know a good man
when I meet one, and Ray Williams is a good man and someone whom
I m proud to call my friend. And I ll be buggered if I m going
stand by and listen to people pouring crap out on a mate of mine
without saying anything.

To be truthful, I don t expect that Ray will ever fully regain
his former reputation or standing. I know too much about how the
media works and about how our court system works to ever expect
real justice. As with my friends Jim and Morde, I m not holding
my breath waiting for the truth to come out. No. I ll look to the
day when the kingdom of this world will become the kingdom of our
Lord and Christ. When that day comes, all the crap will be sorted
out.

About the Author

‘Fighting’ Father Dave Smith - Parish Priest, community worker,professional fighter, father of three. Dave is the only Australian in Holy Orders to turn pro boxer to help fund his work. He is Parish Priest in Dulwich Hill, Sydney,and has received numerous awards for his work with young people

Get a free preview of his book, ‘Sex, the Ring & the Eucharist’ when you sign up for Dave’s newsletter at www.fatherdave.org

You may be contented to go through this ballyhoo. We have carefully picked this piece of article for Kickboxer.

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We wouldn t be able to do any of the stuff we do with kids if it
wasn t for the support we get from local business people in our
community. This is not a shameless plug for our sponsors, just
recognition of the fact that whatever we ve been able to achieve
in Dulwich Hill has been a team effort between church and
community.

People often ask me, “I suppose the church pays for all this, do
they”. I tell them straight, that our little church in Dulwich
Hill has never been able to properly afford even the minimum wage
for their priest, and that the Church with a capital C (ie. the
Anglican Diocese of Sydney) has contributed next to nothing. No.
Almost all our support comes from the three local pubs - the
Gladstone, the Royal Exchange, and the Henson Park Hotel - and
from the local RSL club (Petersham). The rest of it we pick up
through the Christians vs. Lions fight nights we put on, and
through other community events (eg. the Mayor s golf day, the
annual community Street Fair, etc.).

It wasn t always this easy. In the early years we really
struggled to keep the Youth Centre open. Then we caught the
attention of one corporate benefactor, who was able to keep us
going long enough for us to put the other support in place. That
benefactor was Ray Williams, former chief executive of HIH
insurance - one of the most gentle, caring, and humble men I have
ever met, and currently one of the least popular men in the
country.

It amazes me when I think about it. Some of the best people I
have ever met are people with terrible reputations. In each case
of course their reputations have been largely media-generated.

When my mate Jim got shot, one of the major Sydney newspapers ran
story entitled “Evil Villain Gunned Down”. It featured a picture
of Jim carrying an automatic weapon. The picture had been taken
many years earlier during Jim s time with the Australian Army. I
thought You bastards! That s not the man I know.

When Morde was on trail in Israel I read a variety of articles
that spoke about him as being a sophisticated spy - working for
the Arabs and out to destroy his country. I thought You
bastards! You have no idea who you are talking about.

Now I read stories about Ray - about how he manipulated the
market to line his own pockets and how he deliberately defrauded
millions of people, and I think again You bastards .

Ray was sent by God to help us. I have no doubt about that. I
first met him through a fight I took, though Ray himself was no
fan of boxing.

The story of that fight was in itself quite bizarre.

I had been sitting with the Archdeacon in my office one
afternoon. He was wagging his finger at me and telling me that
I d have to close down the Youth Centre. “You just don t have
enough money to keep it going” he said. And he was right. We were
exactly $1000 short of being able to pay our youth worker s wage
for the next month. I was feeling rather nonchalant about it all
and was telling him to have more faith. At exactly that moment
Kon, my trainer, came to the door.

“Dave, do you want to take a pro fight?” he asked. “No” was my
knee-jerk reaction. I d just completed my fight career (I d
thought) with a shot at the NSW super-welterweight title in
kickboxing. The law in this state at the time was that you had to
hang up your gloves when you turned 35. I was 34 and nine months
at that stage. “How much are they offering?” I asked Kon. “$1000″
he said. I told him I d take it. We raised close to $50,000 for
the Youth Centre through that fight. More than half of that money
came through Ray.

A guy by the name of Jeff Wells wrote an article about my fight
that was published in the Sydney Morning Herald one Saturday.
After that, cheques for as much as $1000 started arriving in the
mail! Then one morning a courier turned up with two cheques - one
for $10,000 in the name of HIH insurance, and another for $15,000
in the name of a Mr R. Williams. I remember trembling when I
received these cheques. I d never seen that much money before in
my life.

I had never heard of Ray Williams, but his business card was
attached, so I rang the number and got one of those classic
receptionist voices, saying “Mr Williams is busy at the moment.
Can I take a message?” Then I mentioned my name and all of a
sudden I was speaking to Ray.

“Ah … hi … do I know you?” I started. “No. I don t think so,”
he said. “You ve just sent me cheques for $25,000″ I said. “Yes”
he said. “Um … are you a local from around here? Have you been
watching our work?” I asked. “No” he said. “Well … are you
connected with the church or with youth work around here?” “No”
he said. “Well … are you a fight fan?” I asked, scratching for
some point of connection. “Not at all” he said. “I read an
article about you in the Herald and it looked like you needed
some help.” “Yeah, I do” I said. “Well, will that help?” he
asked. “Oh yeah” I said, “that ll help.”

That s how our relationship began. Over the years that followed
Ray took a keen interest in our work. As things at HIH became
tighter, we didn t receive any further support from the company,
but Ray himself would generally turn up to our fundraiser fight
nights, and he wouldn t leave before slipping us a cheque from
out of his own funds. It s what kept us going while we searched
for more stable sponsorship from the local community. We owe a
lot to Ray.

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And it wasn t just the money. It was the man too. He was
inspiring in his humility.

At the time of the first donation we had a guy in our church who
worked as one of the chief accountants in the public hospital
system. “Oh yeah” he said to me one Sunday. “If it wasn t for Ray
Williams, half the hospitals in Sydney might be closed.” And then
he added “but he never likes to have his name mentioned. He hates
the limelight”

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We found this to be entirely true. We managed to get him on stage
once to present a trophy to one of our fighters, but it was a
tough job. He really hated being at the centre of attention. It s
one of the things that makes this Royal Commission so odious to
him.

I still can t believe the way the media have gone after him -
vigorously attacking him for his generosity to hospitals and
charities. It s not as if he was giving away money that should
have gone to insurance claimants. If he hadn t given it away, I
guess it would have slightly increased the dividend paid to the
shareholders, and he himself must have been one of the largest
shareholders. I still find it preposterous to think that the
media should have acted so self-righteously indignant about the
fact that the poor shareholders were losing potential income
because it had gone to the children s hospital. It s just
ridiculous.

But it wasn t only the media that crucified Ray. Once the news
about HIH s collapse became public knowledge, former colleagues
deserted him, old friends and associates turned their backs on
him, and charities that he d been supporting for years all of a
sudden didn t want to know him. Ray had been on the board of the
Children s Hospital for as long as anybody could remember. They
sent him a letter saying thank you but your services are no
longer required . Nobody waited for the results of the Royal
Commission. Nobody waited to see if perhaps he wasn t the real
villain in the piece. Everyone distanced themselves, not wanting
their own reputations to be tarnished.

I seriously can t understand that attitude. I know I m capable of
doing some stupid and selfish things, but deserting a mate in his
time of need is not one of them. When I think about all the
people that Ray must have helped over the years, I just can t
believe that none of them thought to ring him up and say How are
you going, Ray. Perhaps it s my turn to give you some support?

Oh yes! Further insight to the piece of the article could be a treat to the specialist. Your unusual interest would get a surprise in the sections that follow.

Anyway, my point here is not to spit my dummy. And I ll be the
first to admit that I don t have a clue about big business,
insurance laws, or anything of the sort. But I know a good man
when I meet one, and Ray Williams is a good man and someone whom
I m proud to call my friend. And I ll be buggered if I m going
stand by and listen to people pouring crap out on a mate of mine
without saying anything.

To be truthful, I don t expect that Ray will ever fully regain
his former reputation or standing. I know too much about how the
media works and about how our court system works to ever expect
real justice. As with my friends Jim and Morde, I m not holding
my breath waiting for the truth to come out. No. I ll look to the
day when the kingdom of this world will become the kingdom of our
Lord and Christ. When that day comes, all the crap will be sorted
out.

About the Author

‘Fighting’ Father Dave Smith - Parish Priest, community worker,professional fighter, father of three. Dave is the only Australian in Holy Orders to turn pro boxer to help fund his work. He is Parish Priest in Dulwich Hill, Sydney,and has received numerous awards for his work with young people

Get a free preview of his book, ‘Sex, the Ring & the Eucharist’ when you sign up for Dave’s newsletter at www.fatherdave.org

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We wouldn t be able to do any of the stuff we do with kids if it
wasn t for the support we get from local business people in our
community. This is not a shameless plug for our sponsors, just
recognition of the fact that whatever we ve been able to achieve
in Dulwich Hill has been a team effort between church and
community.

People often ask me, “I suppose the church pays for all this, do
they”. I tell them straight, that our little church in Dulwich
Hill has never been able to properly afford even the minimum wage
for their priest, and that the Church with a capital C (ie. the
Anglican Diocese of Sydney) has contributed next to nothing. No.
Almost all our support comes from the three local pubs - the
Gladstone, the Royal Exchange, and the Henson Park Hotel - and
from the local RSL club (Petersham). The rest of it we pick up
through the Christians vs. Lions fight nights we put on, and
through other community events (eg. the Mayor s golf day, the
annual community Street Fair, etc.).

It wasn t always this easy. In the early years we really
struggled to keep the Youth Centre open. Then we caught the
attention of one corporate benefactor, who was able to keep us
going long enough for us to put the other support in place. That
benefactor was Ray Williams, former chief executive of HIH
insurance - one of the most gentle, caring, and humble men I have
ever met, and currently one of the least popular men in the
country.

It amazes me when I think about it. Some of the best people I
have ever met are people with terrible reputations. In each case
of course their reputations have been largely media-generated.

When my mate Jim got shot, one of the major Sydney newspapers ran
story entitled “Evil Villain Gunned Down”. It featured a picture
of Jim carrying an automatic weapon. The picture had been taken
many years earlier during Jim s time with the Australian Army. I
thought You bastards! That s not the man I know.

When Morde was on trail in Israel I read a variety of articles
that spoke about him as being a sophisticated spy - working for
the Arabs and out to destroy his country. I thought You
bastards! You have no idea who you are talking about.

Now I read stories about Ray - about how he manipulated the
market to line his own pockets and how he deliberately defrauded
millions of people, and I think again You bastards .

Ray was sent by God to help us. I have no doubt about that. I
first met him through a fight I took, though Ray himself was no
fan of boxing.

The story of that fight was in itself quite bizarre.

I had been sitting with the Archdeacon in my office one
afternoon. He was wagging his finger at me and telling me that
I d have to close down the Youth Centre. “You just don t have
enough money to keep it going” he said. And he was right. We were
exactly $1000 short of being able to pay our youth worker s wage
for the next month. I was feeling rather nonchalant about it all
and was telling him to have more faith. At exactly that moment
Kon, my trainer, came to the door.

“Dave, do you want to take a pro fight?” he asked. “No” was my
knee-jerk reaction. I d just completed my fight career (I d
thought) with a shot at the NSW super-welterweight title in
kickboxing. The law in this state at the time was that you had to
hang up your gloves when you turned 35. I was 34 and nine months
at that stage. “How much are they offering?” I asked Kon. “$1000″
he said. I told him I d take it. We raised close to $50,000 for
the Youth Centre through that fight. More than half of that money
came through Ray.

A guy by the name of Jeff Wells wrote an article about my fight
that was published in the Sydney Morning Herald one Saturday.
After that, cheques for as much as $1000 started arriving in the
mail! Then one morning a courier turned up with two cheques - one
for $10,000 in the name of HIH insurance, and another for $15,000
in the name of a Mr R. Williams. I remember trembling when I
received these cheques. I d never seen that much money before in
my life.

Okay. Your access to this part signifies that you are pretty much speculative in Anglican and . Just keep on reading, there are additional details to follow.

I had never heard of Ray Williams, but his business card was
attached, so I rang the number and got one of those classic
receptionist voices, saying “Mr Williams is busy at the moment.
Can I take a message?” Then I mentioned my name and all of a
sudden I was speaking to Ray.

“Ah … hi … do I know you?” I started. “No. I don t think so,”
he said. “You ve just sent me cheques for $25,000″ I said. “Yes”
he said. “Um … are you a local from around here? Have you been
watching our work?” I asked. “No” he said. “Well … are you
connected with the church or with youth work around here?” “No”
he said. “Well … are you a fight fan?” I asked, scratching for
some point of connection. “Not at all” he said. “I read an
article about you in the Herald and it looked like you needed
some help.” “Yeah, I do” I said. “Well, will that help?” he
asked. “Oh yeah” I said, “that ll help.”

Completely admissible! Since you have reached this far, it means you are in fact speculative in Anglican and . Go on reading, there are additional facts to follow.

That s how our relationship began. Over the years that followed
Ray took a keen interest in our work. As things at HIH became
tighter, we didn t receive any further support from the company,
but Ray himself would generally turn up to our fundraiser fight
nights, and he wouldn t leave before slipping us a cheque from
out of his own funds. It s what kept us going while we searched
for more stable sponsorship from the local community. We owe a
lot to Ray.

And it wasn t just the money. It was the man too. He was
inspiring in his humility.

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At the time of the first donation we had a guy in our church who
worked as one of the chief accountants in the public hospital
system. “Oh yeah” he said to me one Sunday. “If it wasn t for Ray
Williams, half the hospitals in Sydney might be closed.” And then
he added “but he never likes to have his name mentioned. He hates
the limelight”

We found this to be entirely true. We managed to get him on stage
once to present a trophy to one of our fighters, but it was a
tough job. He really hated being at the centre of attention. It s
one of the things that makes this Royal Commission so odious to
him.

I still can t believe the way the media have gone after him -
vigorously attacking him for his generosity to hospitals and
charities. It s not as if he was giving away money that should
have gone to insurance claimants. If he hadn t given it away, I
guess it would have slightly increased the dividend paid to the
shareholders, and he himself must have been one of the largest
shareholders. I still find it preposterous to think that the
media should have acted so self-righteously indignant about the
fact that the poor shareholders were losing potential income
because it had gone to the children s hospital. It s just
ridiculous.

But it wasn t only the media that crucified Ray. Once the news
about HIH s collapse became public knowledge, former colleagues
deserted him, old friends and associates turned their backs on
him, and charities that he d been supporting for years all of a
sudden didn t want to know him. Ray had been on the board of the
Children s Hospital for as long as anybody could remember. They
sent him a letter saying thank you but your services are no
longer required . Nobody waited for the results of the Royal
Commission. Nobody waited to see if perhaps he wasn t the real
villain in the piece. Everyone distanced themselves, not wanting
their own reputations to be tarnished.

I seriously can t understand that attitude. I know I m capable of
doing some stupid and selfish things, but deserting a mate in his
time of need is not one of them. When I think about all the
people that Ray must have helped over the years, I just can t
believe that none of them thought to ring him up and say How are
you going, Ray. Perhaps it s my turn to give you some support?

Anyway, my point here is not to spit my dummy. And I ll be the
first to admit that I don t have a clue about big business,
insurance laws, or anything of the sort. But I know a good man
when I meet one, and Ray Williams is a good man and someone whom
I m proud to call my friend. And I ll be buggered if I m going
stand by and listen to people pouring crap out on a mate of mine
without saying anything.

To be truthful, I don t expect that Ray will ever fully regain
his former reputation or standing. I know too much about how the
media works and about how our court system works to ever expect
real justice. As with my friends Jim and Morde, I m not holding
my breath waiting for the truth to come out. No. I ll look to the
day when the kingdom of this world will become the kingdom of our
Lord and Christ. When that day comes, all the crap will be sorted
out.

About the Author

‘Fighting’ Father Dave Smith - Parish Priest, community worker,professional fighter, father of three. Dave is the only Australian in Holy Orders to turn pro boxer to help fund his work. He is Parish Priest in Dulwich Hill, Sydney,and has received numerous awards for his work with young people

Get a free preview of his book, ‘Sex, the Ring & the Eucharist’ when you sign up for Dave’s newsletter at www.fatherdave.org

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So, you’ve been arrested, what in God’s name should you do next? One thing for sure, do not talk to the police. I’ll repeat, do not talk to the police. Also, you will need to get an attorney as fast as possible. I know after 9/11, there is now this warm fuzzy feeling about the police. But remember, nothing has changed. The police are still the police. The main job of the police is to catch bad guys or gals. Thus they will do almost anything to make an arrest stick. I know as a criminal defense attorney I am jaded, but I am speaking out of first hand experience. Nothing good comes from talking to the police without an attorney present. What you say can and will be used against you!

Once you are arrested police officers go into a routine of trying to trap you. They are notorious for questions like: do you want to talk about it? Or even worse telling you there is no need for you to get a lawyer. They may also go into a good cop- bad cop routine. Give them credit in this area. Police officers are masters in obtaining statements, and then twisting the words against you. They will play on your fear. Give your name, rank and serial number. Nothing more. Also, take a lesson from the Zen-Master himself, Los Angeles Laker coach Phil Jackson. Stay cool and calm. Do not allow your emotions to take over. Do not try to explain anything. Talking to the police is like trying to get out of quick sand, the harder you try, the deeper you will sink. You are very likely to blurt something out that could potentially harm your case. As they say, ‘loose lips sink ships’ Keep quiet!

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Final Word
Do not be intimidated. Simply tell the police; you want to have an attorney present. Keep repeating that statement until they give in. Be strong. These are your rights. Never, never let anyone take them from you. Your Rights, Your Liberty, Nothing Is More Important.

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——————————————————————————–

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About the Author: Gary Olive is a practicing criminal defense attorney, in Los Angeles, CA.
He can be reached by email at lawyerwarrior@aol.com

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September 11, 2001 became our new Day of Infamy.

The calls started at 6:00 a.m. PST. Mother s voice shrilled into my not-quite awake brain. Turn on ABC. She hung up.

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The devastation and the horror began with a flick of power to the television. Hatred came to life before my eyes. With it came fear, a moment of panic, and then calls to everyone I loved and cared about. Like so many of you, I alternated between listening and watching the news to half-hearted attempts at work.

On the day after this evil, I am compelled to write. Everyone reading this has also experienced both the planned cruelty of humanity as well as its generosity. People stood in line waiting to donate blood. Firefighters and police officers gave their lives. Messages of support swirled across e-mail channels. And the safety we thought was ours has disappeared in the dense clouds of smoke that carried the World Trade Tower, the Pentagon, and four planes into destruction. All the technology in the world would not have prevented this attack. The human technology of hatred overrode all systems.

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The question for me is deeper then who did this? Instead, the question is how can we use this evil to become wiser and more humanly connected? How the nation responds in the aftermath of this horror will tell the world just who we really are. I pray that our wise responses will be words of compassion and reason in the midst of insanity. While the cold inhumanity of terrorism is horrific, it cannot lead us into generalizations about a race, religion, or nation. The actions of a few do not denote the mindset of all.

If this day of infamy is to be truly life changing, we must tell ourselves the truth. The truth is that evil can be done to others when one feels no connection with the victim. The hate crimes that have been perpetrated in our country are the same evil. The difference is scale and the fact that we have witnessed the horrific killings first hand from a televisions lens.

To truly honor the memory of the men, women, and children who were murdered in yesterday s attack, may I suggest that we explore our own connections with others. Whose voices do we turn off because of prejudice? Are we willing to explore another point of view? What words of vindictiveness and cruelty do we stand by and hear without comment?

Can we make our workplaces open for the give and take of ideas, opinions and the honoring of differences? With whom do we need to reconcile so that our space on this earth is not splattered with bitterness?

Let us not hide behind the fear of vulnerability for such fear leads to either bluster and posturing or hunker-down and retreating. Rather, let us be courageous and use this event as a catalyst to connect the human web in our work, our community, our nation and our world.

Consider this plain talk for painful times.

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2001 by Eileen McDargh. All rights reserved. Reprints must include byline, contact information and copyright.

About the Author

Eileen McDargh, CSP, CPAE, is an international speaker, author and seminar leader. Her book Work for A Living and Still Be Free to Live is also the title of one of her most popular and upbeat programs on Work/Life Balance. For more information on Eileen and her presentations, please call 949-496-8640 or visit http://www.eileenmcdargh.com.

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What To Do When You Get Into An Accident

 by: Paul Hood

Accidents are unexpected occurrences in life. These are traumatic events that nobody wants to encounter. Because of the shock an accident causes, people tend to lose their ability to think correctly resulting to serious injuries, even death, to himself or to another party.

How can we overcome shock during or after an accident? Presence of mind is very vital in situations like this.

There are several kinds of accidents. Examples are vehicular accidents, industrial accidents and aerial accidents. Different accidents need different approach.

Car accident is an example of vehicular accidents, which claimed millions of lives and caused many people to suffer. Damages a car accident can cause include disability, emotional distress and permanent disfigurement. A lot of victims endure from injuries such as broken bone injuries, scar injuries, head and neck injuries, and nerve damage.

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We cannot do much during an accident because it happens so fast that we are not able to control it. What is important is that we have to learn how we should behave after the incident and what actions we have to take. It will be hard for an injured person to think of the people or things around him. His only concern is the pain that he is feeling. In situations wherein you are still able to talk, walk and move without difficulty, you might as well do the following steps.

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Ask or know the names, addresses and telephone numbers of the individuals involved in an accident. Car owners involved must secure car insurance. If there are witnesses in the area, ask for their names, addresses, and telephone numbers, too. Assist the police with the investigation, be cooperative. Take note of important visual information, like scratches and marks on the car and the weather condition. If you do not have pen or any writing materials, review the scene in your mind so that you can remember it. You have to tell the police exactly what happened. Take pictures of the cars involved in the accident. The picture must tell a detailed story. If you feel any pain or discomfort after the accident, consult a physician right away, or else it will raise questions whether the injury was caused by the accident or not. Consult an attorney before filling out any documents or giving your statement. Photograph wounds that heal quickly, you might need it during a case hearing or investigation. You might alsoneed a lawyer to assist you in filling important papers, assist in court proceedings, and getting your claims.

About The Author This report is exceptionally terrific still some readers are uncertain about its gains. It gave ultimate bliss to those who were on the lookout of Anglican. But few of them didn’t assist. If you are hunting for a report on Anglican, you can definitely decide about the credibility of the piece of literature. To evaluate if the stuff holds some worth for you, you could read it till the last word. Ariel Velasco goes by the author alias of Paul Hood. This author is into books and writing. Reading is an essential part of his life and this has lent a considerable influence in his writing. Well traveled and would always want to travel more. He loves learning more about people and their ways. Took up a Bachelor of Arts in Sociology to further this fascination and had a fulfilling educational experience having been exposed to a wide spectrum of people. Always ready for new opportunities to learn and have a great deal of interest in different fields of expertise. For comments and questions about the article you may contact The Personal Injury Site Moderator at their website at http://www.personalinjurylawyersinc.com contactus@personalinjurylawyersinc.com

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